2023
victories I didn't win
How can we look forward without looking back?
2023 could have been the breaking of me, but it was the making of me. The last week of 2023, I was sort of shook just looking back over the year and seeing where I should have fallen…
But instead, I was Held.
That Voice I love said, here, move here, I’ll move you.
You should miss this.
Let me show you what’s truly going on under the surface here.
I’ll lead you, I’ll show you.
Step to the side.
Go here, not there.
Let me heal this.
Let me be the One.
Entering 2024, I’m standing on victories I didn’t win.
The only thing I do over here is listen 👂
and move when the Voice says move.
Meanwhile, I’m feeling such a call and time to go inward and upward, and find myself wrapped in love once again.
In 2022 I asked God what that year would hold and I heard, “2023 is going to be a GREAT year.”
I thought that was a very saucy response.
In 2023, I learned that God and I may have slightly different definitions of GREAT, but it was a GREAT year nonetheless.
GREAT seems to have a lot of change, transition and digging deep in it…
a note of kindness
Maybe you’re feeling mixed about 2023.
Maybe the gut twisting wrenches of 2023 feel more complicated than cathartic.
Maybe this is okay to feel.
Take a deep breath. 2023 is past.
2024 is feeling to me like it’s time to push in and take some ground, and to get ready to stand. Somehow, in the chaos and the breaking of 2023, I am more ready to be held… because when I am held, I can stand.
Grateful for these photos where I feel like my most held self by Jeremy Cowart. What a way to start the year.
More coming Wednesday.
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A few housekeeping updates for friends.
1) If you’ve been following along on my older accounts, the name shift has not occurred legally this year due to some strings I need to clip before I go before the judge early this year. I had some sad news, unfortunately over Christmas, that this could take longer than anticipated because of other people’s decisions which are outside my control. (See: I needed to be held in 2023)
Send love, and thanks for your patience as I continue to go by another name only professionally until the rest of this sails through. Hopefully, it is not too confusing for you, and I do wish to be referred to as Mary spelled with an i.
In the most wild way, this has felt like a homecoming,
and the old name has fallen away
in an act of grace.
2) Meanwhile, I am galloping full speed into the new year. I decided to TikTok this year 🤪🙃😵💫 and I’ll be posting once a day starting Monday for three months.
If you’re on TikTok, please provide moral support and I will do the same: https://www.tiktok.com/@maritravelseast
(yes, I did have to ask my friend Amelia to teach me how to post… God help me. Here I come.)
3) Lastly, I have what I hope will be some really lovely surprises and content coming your way. There are some things I’ve been cooking for a few months which are almost ready to release… and I can’t wait to share. (Joshua Tree video shoot, anyone?)
Thank you for reading. Sending love.
-Mari