How learning French helped me hear God more clearly

"J'demande ?" What do you think?

This spring, I was sitting on my sofa in Nashville on a French course zoom call, thinking about the multiplicity of ways that French verbs can be conjugated, which is not a spiritual thought…

when I asked, "How do I request something in French?"

My teacher replied, "J'demande."

I wrinkled my nose. "That's not very polite is it?"

She smiled. "In English, no, but in French it's very proper."

If left to my own devices, I would have thought that demanding something was very improper…

This simple exhange led me down an entire rabbit trail on the limitations of using language to hear and express God.

Let’s back up. Word-lover here, yet I understand this: word choices, cultural phrases, and even tone inflections make up a lot of how we communicate.

You also have to consider: 80% of communication is non-verbal.

After the non-verbal pieces happen, we run everything we do hear through our cultural background, our lens and even our emotion of the day. Simple phrases like “J’demande” can suddenly become a rock of offense, even if none was meant.

Plus, everyone knows... if you have been to Paris at least... "Pardon" can take on meanings from genuine contrition to downright contempt, given the inflection you receive while being shoved unceremoniously on the metro.

And so it is with God. (minus the shoving.)

I thought about this a lot last week…. how do you do non-verbal communication with God?

These non-verbals matter… the circumstances, the story, the narrative you’re in while you hear something… it always matters. The process that you’re in will inflect the sentence. And an understanding of your own internal world will make all the difference.

This is how we get the 80% of interpretation that makes the key difference.

I have a stack of journals with things I've written down from God. From hard seasons, I can hear my own inflection of pain filtering the words. And from good ones, I hear a similar filter.

However, there is a True North. And the words still ring true…

not just from understanding God’s inflection, but my own.

I have long compared hearing God to threading a needle. (Luke 18:25) Indeed, a little to the left or the right makes it far more difficult.

Narrow is the way.

This precision, wheel-gripping determination, holding fast to the words spoken...

All of this means nothing without God's Voice.

And here's the good news...
no matter if you think "J'demande" is an affronting phrase or a polite one...

God has a way of using the exact words, situations, phrases and right understanding to get the message through to you.

This is the mystery.

A God who puts on human limitations so that we can see Him rightly.

And when He speaks, He does not stutter.

-Mari

If you're interested in learning more about hearing God, I have a course on the Old Testament prophets and how they heard God. You can check it out at this link.